Gossip

I don't normally post about work, for obvious reasons. However, I can't help sharing this story and getting feedback from you all about this situation. It's vague enough to where it's safe to post about and, frankly, I don't care if someone at work finds this post - in fact, I kinda hope they DO.

I hate gossip. I mean, really hate it. It's offensive, petty, childish, rude, and in my opinion, only serves as a tool for miserable people to make their pitiful lives seem better than they actually are by dragging others down. In a way, that makes it a little like watching Jerry Springer.

Now, there's office politics talk - trying to figure out what might happen to a particular division, what plans are for the future, etc. That's different because that has a purpose in the workplace. I'm talking about personal gossip.

Now, I try to separate personal feelings from professional duties. I don't have to like everyone I work with, but I have to be able to work with them. Hell, on a personal level, especially after this incident (piled on top of other examples) I can say I genuinely dislike my boss. He's OK to work with, but as a person, I would never choose to associate with him outside of work. Also, even if I don't particularly like someone, I can't let that get in the way of getting something done for them. Case in point - last week, I'm in my office and my boss comes in and we start talking about a project we're working on. The subject of a particular person comes up, who is - admittedly - difficult to work with sometimes.

We begin talking about this person's apparent inability (or lack of desire?) to understand some key differences in definitions and not wanting to admit that there's some problems in his area of oversight because of it. THEN, in a tone of voice (he had a big smug smile on his face) that was meant to say "hey, get a load of this, this will make you laugh," my boss tells me that this person is separated from his wife as of recently. I just stare in disbelief. Am I supposed to get some kind of pleasure out of misery in this person's personal life??

Me (angrily): "So? What does that have to do with ANYTHING? That's none of my business. Why do people care about this kind of thing??"

Keep in mind, this is NOT the first time he has participated in this type of gossip. Each time, I shoot him down or ignore it. I'm above that kind of petty bullshit.

Him: "I don't care"

Me (even more angrily): "Well, obviously you DO if you're repeating it."

Him: blank stare, grunt, walk away.

I really wish I would have laid into him more about it. Ask him what kinds of things he says about ME behind my back? Did he make fun of MY divorce to others? Do you really think it's OK to talk about people's personal lives like that? Does that make your own pathetic, miserable existence seem better?

Ugh. It really pissed me off. I will never stoop to that level, however, from now on, I WILL be telling those people who I DO like and respect at work never, ever to tell this guy anything remotely personal about anyone.

I mean, how can I be expected to have any professional respect for someone like that?

Stay Tuned

I am going to start a new blog - a PHOTO BLOG - because I just got myself a new (well, new to ME) Nikon d50 digital SLR!

May I present (under construction) Chicago Shutterbug.

Blogger wouldn't let me create a separate account and I don't want to create an email address only for this blog. So I removed my personal information from that blog. Those who know about THIS blog can get there through my profile, but those who only know about that blog won't be able to connect the two easily. So just an FYI, I'd prefer not to mention The Sarchasm on that blog, since I plan on sharing that one with people who don't necessarily know this one exists.

I need to figure out all the dodads and whatnots, but it feels great to have a real camera in my hands again.

I was into photography for about 10-12 years from just before high school to beyond college. I had an old Minolta and a few lenses. I loved taking pictures and took that thing everywhere with me. It finally died and, at the time, it was pointless to replace it with a film camera and the good digital SLRs (with interchangable lenses) were financially, far out of reach.

Well a friend from work bought this camera like-new, used a couple years ago and has since upgraded to a fancier, professional-grade Nikon. She's meticulous and keeps the packaging and boxes for everything and takes great care of her stuff. So she sold me this camera - the body, kit lens (15-55mm), a telephoto (55-200mm), charger, manuals, box, etc - for $300. That's less than the body of this camera costs by itself, new. I went and got a media card, a small case, and a strap the other day and am good to go. Another friend from work who is a photographer and teaches photojournalism in the communications department at my school is going to sit down with me and go over the bells & whistles of the camera with me. I might take a photo class at a community center in the near future to just get back into the swing of maniuplating depth of field and composition.

I carried it on the el to work this morning and purposely sat in the very back of the last car so I could take pictures out the rear window. I'm taking this thing with me everywhere I can.

False alarm

So it turns out the ladder was tall enough. The ceiling just looked a lot higher than it actually is. I just am a horrible judge of distance - always have been.

Well, now I know

Feeling helpless

OK, that's overly dramatic. I'm not feeling helpless. I am, however, annoyed that I am too short to change my own kitchen lightbulb. I guess I need a new boy - one that's taller than me. The previous boy was just about my height, so he'd have been no help at all. Must aim for the tall type I guess, for utilitarian purposes :)

I guess I'll have to ask my next-door neighbor across the hall. He's kinda tall (don't say it, he lives with his girlfriend and is not my type anyway). Plus, I don't think I could ever date someone that lived in such close proximity. There would be no sense of boundary or personal space, and then you'd keep running into the person after it ended, which depending on how it ended, could range from awkward to frightening.

I could call and ask my landlord - but seriously - I am NOT that woman. I could call and see if he would be willing to install a different light fixture that's easier for me to change myself. Because of the high ceiling, and the fact that it's an enclosed fixture flush with the ceiling (so the screws are basically an inch or two from the ceiling), it's too high for me to reach.

Ack.

What up

I've been lazy. I admit it's mostly cuz I didn't really have much to share. This weather in Chicago, however, is making me feel like sitting down and writing a bit, so...

So far the whole pesceterian thing is going well. I've actually made a meatless version of my grandmother's tomato sauce. It's OK, but I think I will go back to using ground turkey in that. It's just NOT the same. I used soy crumbles, which they try to make look like ground beef by adding soy sauce for color. WHY?? Why not food coloring? Soy sauce makes it salty as hell and throws off the whole balance of the sauce. It's an unwelcome flavoring in Italian cuisine. So, no more of that nonsense. I tried making it completely meatless because, while I will still eat bird, the boy and various vegetarian friends I have, don't. I guess I won't be making Italian for them...

Speaking of the boy... we broke up this week. No big deal really, don't feel sorry for me. I mean, all parting of the ways are sad in a way, but this was a mutual realization that it just wasn't right and I'm not regretful of any of it. We had a nice talk the other day and had lunch and there were no hard feelings at all. It's a combination of various lifestyle differences, for the most part. We got along great and there are a lot of things we have in common. But the differences that were there were in significant places. Hopefully we can maintain some sort of casual contact as friends, but we'll see I guess. I tend to be pretty good at re-drawing boundaries like that, but not everyone is. I'm going to see him one more time, in a few weeks, when he has to return something I lent him for a business trip. We'll see how we feel about the friends issue then.

So, it's back to fishing again, huh? I have to say that, so far, online dating - as cheesy as it sounds to a lot of people (including me, I might add), really isn't that bad. I have had some decent experiences with it so far. It's a good way to meet people that you wouldn't necessarily meet otherwise and a good way to know, from the get-go, that you're weeding out people who are far off the mark from your expectations. If you met someone at a bar or a bookstore or wherever, you wouldn't immediately know if they were a Biblethumper or a Dittohead. These sites give you some decent background and, unless the other person is lying, you have at least some idea of what you're getting into when you start talking. If a guy has a picture posted of himself and his three chihuahuas in matching doggie track suits, or a picture of himself shirtless with his motor vehicle - I pass. And it's kinda fun to be a voyeur in that way too. So, back online I go.

As for other things. I will be going out for an early birthday celebration with a few good friends tomorrow night. Dinner & dancing. I have a full calendar for October - except for Halloween, which kinda sucks cuz I LOVE Halloween and wish I had something fun to do. Maybe something will come up. Some of the "kids" are having a party, but I don't know if that kind of fun is what I'm looking for.

Sweet Jesus

This is so very, very wrong

Creepy.

So this happened a block from where I live two nights ago:

"A man and woman were shot and killed in the Albany Park neighborhood early Sunday in a condo where a police source said drugs were found.

A witness who was in the condo in the 3500 block of West Sunnyside when the shootings occurred said the victims were a 24-year-old man and his 19-year-old girlfriend."

I was walking Annie yesterday morning around 6:45 and saw a Channel 7 news truck in front of the church down the street. So I asked what was going on. The reporter told me two people were shot in their apartment and they didn't know much else. Then he proceeded to ask me stupid questions like "how does knowing this happened in your neighborhood make you feel?"

I feel great about it - wonderful! Fantastic!... what a DUMB question. I'm convinced that most people on the news sound stupid because they're responding to stupid questions.

It's still creepy, but remind myself when thinking about this that this sort of thing can and does happen almost anywhere. Sure, I knew when I moved here that the neighborhood wasn't as "nice" (read: white) as my previous neighborhoods, but I knew people who lived where I'm at and they all said it's fine. For the record, I still think it's fine. Maybe it's not as 'safe' as Lincoln Park (then again, the city puts more services and cops in areas that provide the city more property tax money). Yes, there's some problems here. Neighbors I talk to while walking Annie said they heard the man who was shot was a drug dealer with a rap sheet a mile long.

The other thing that lessens the creepy factor is that this was probably not random. I'm not excusing the behavior at all (I know how this will sound) but the guy who did this had a reason to kick down that particular door. Maybe it was drugs, money owed, or a jilted ex-boyfriend - but it was something. That means that unlike a random act, it couldn't have just as likely been my door or someone in my building. These people knew each other - I'll bet a year's salary on that.

That makes it less creepy than an incident about 5 years ago in Lincoln Park (rich, whitey McTrixiville) where a woman was dragged into a gangway between two houses and raped two doors down from my apartment on a night I was coming home late from something. It happened about two hours after I had gotten home - but still - it could have just as easily been me in that case. That, to me, is scarier than this AND it happened in a "good" and "safe" neighborhood.

It still sucks, it's still creepy, and it's still sad that human beings continue to do things like this to each other. But it's part of life anywhere, particularly in a city. It's a reason to learn to be aware of your surroundings and learn how to handle yourself when you're out.

There was a candlelight vigil last night outside the building with a crowd of about 15 people. The candles were still lit this morning.